Eight Hours to Live

Some of my friends envy me because I always seem to have quite normal pregnancies. I don't feel morning sickness at all, I can travel, and I was never required to be on bed rest. But on the 22nd week of my second pregnancy, diarrhea suddenly took the life of my little girl.

I lost Lira last July 17, 2010.

After 3 days in Marikina Valley Hospital, my husband decided to transfer me to the Medical City where my OB is based. I have been experiencing pre-term labor contractions for 3 days. The medications could not do anything. I was so tired. Any movement would hurt any part of my body.

My mom decided to stay with me during the night of the 16th so hubby can take some rest. In the midst of the painful contractions, my water bag broke. I did not realize that I was already pushing the baby out, until I felt her in my underwear. At that moment, all I remembered was I cried and my mom alerted the nurses and doctors that the baby just came out. Mom was telling me, "Wag kang iiyak, magdasal ka" as people were bringing my bed out of the room. There was no time anymore to bring a stretcher. I don't remember praying at that moment. My mind was just blank.

The next thing I knew, I was at the recovery room and hospital staff were asking me to sign the birth the certificate of the baby (with the footprint). My husband also came to me that we had a baby girl, that she's in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) and that she was already baptized. My OB also spoke with me, and told me that my daughter will not live long. Her organs were not yet mature to survive the world outside my womb.

Some minutes later, I was brought to the NICU. My baby was so small (498 g), but I can already see that she looked like her older sister. I touched her little feet and at that moment, I just let her go. I knew right then that she belongs to heaven.

I'm writing this so I can gather more strength from the experience. It still pains me each time I remember my very short encounter with my daughter.
But those eight hours of Lira in the outside world was already a miracle. She could have died in minutes. I thank God that I was able to touch her.

Lira is now dancing in heaven with the other angels. Watching over us. As for me and my husband, we still have each other and a daughter who continue to bring us joy and inspiration.

Diversity, Gender Gap, and Women Empowerment

When I was in The Hague, one of the important meetings I attended was a Women in Leadership Forum sponsored by the ING Group (a Financial Institution). The presenters were Jacqui Robertson, Head of ING Global Diversity and Amita Ramnarain, an awardee of Entrepreneur of the Year in the Netherlands. The women entrepreneurs who attended came from Colombia, Kenya, Niger, India and the Philippines. The BiD Challenge was dominated by male entrepreneurs, or about 75% if I am not mistaken.





During the training, it was discussed that companies like ING are encouraging the female employees to step up and take important positions in their company. Under usual circumstances, the corporate world is led mostly by males. Amita, on the other hand, shared her story as to how she became a successful entrepreneur and the sacrifices she went through. Thanks for a supportive husband who allowed her to excel in her chosen field.



For me, the most important part of the training was the sharing among the BiD Challenge female entrepreneurs. What struck me and fellow Filipina, Marianne Olano, the most was the fact that women from other countries do not enjoy the same freedom as most Filipinas in their respective careers. Some women had to give up their careers if their spouses are already way behind their achievements. Some cannot even drive newer cars than their husbands! I know this also happens in some families in the Philippines, but I rarely hear about it from the experiences of my own friends and families.

Here's a link on the Gender Gap Report 2009, which was put together by the World Economic Forum. http://www.weforum.org/en/Communities/Women%20Leaders%20and%20Gender%20Parity/GenderGapNetwork/index.htm

Interestingly, the Philippines is in the top 10 of the survey and even the highest ranked Asian country. As a Filipina, we should take advantage of the fact that we are given this opportunity to excel in our respective fields with very little issues. We should continue loving our husbands and kids, but we should always remember that we have all the right to enjoy and share our skills and talents with others through our work and passions.

Summer Activity for My 2 Year Old

I honestly think that I am a super relaxed mommy. I try to understand that my daughter develops at her own pace, and it is possible that some kids will be more advanced than she is. My Ecobloks partner, who is a seasoned pre-school teacher, and my hubby's publisher, who owns a pre-school, both told me that my daughter can attend playschools, but we can wait until she's 3.5 years before she can go to a formal class for an entire school year. That's a relief, though I am not challenging the parents who brought their kids to school at 1.5 or 2 years old. That's just me, as a parent.



Every summer, though, I enroll my daughter in a class. Last year, it was Kindermusik's "Zoo Train" module. We are still playing the CD until now. It was a good program though I felt that my daughter was still too young for that class. At that time, she was 2-3 months under the age requirement.

She used to have a tutor, visiting her 2x a week, but her teacher got married and is now pregnant.

This year, I am happy to have found Abba's Orchard in Piazza, McKinley. They offered a half day class for 2 weeks from Monday to Saturday using the Montessori way of teaching. The class begins on Monday. I feel a bit scared that I have to leave my child for half a day in school, but it's also a relief that she will be able to do other things this summer. I'm so excited for her art classes because I really wanted to learn how to integrate art in her activities.

After the summer activity, I just hope that my decision to wait for another year to enroll her in a real school will remain. Or maybe I will just let her decide-- that I cannot challenge. That's just me, as the mom.

Facebook Management

If there's such a thing as Anger Management, I think it's time that we invent something like Facebook Management.

I have been a member of Facebook for more than 2 years already, but it really became popular last year, wherein my friends list easily increased by 5x. Admittedly, I was always online until my love story with Facebook dwindled about last month. For some reason, I lost a bit of interest. Actually, I have been praying for that to happen when I noticed that I have been on Facebook for most of my working hours (as a work at home mother).

The secret? Just stop updating your status unless there's something really important to announce to your friends. Really. It worked wonders for me.

Now my days are productive. That's Facebook Management. :)

Gift Ideas for the Late Christmas Shoppers Like Me

Though I frequently join bazaars, I'm not yet done with my very own Christmas list.

Last year I bought 2 dozens of shopping bags from Mama Earth. I am still crazy over shopping bags, but this year I was able to buy half a dozen from another seller (I think the name is Earth Cherish) from the St. James Bazaar.

My hubby would always tell me not to give generic gifts to friends-- such a pressure! We plan to visit more bazaars this weekend, while I have a bunch of personalized gifts currently in production.

(I'm having tote bags personalized for friends, not drawstring such as the ones in the photo)

When budget is really tight, it could be really hard to think of possible gift options. My mother-in-law, who's a very practical gift-giver, gave me some ideas. The other tips below came from my frequent stroll to the bazaars I have joined:

1. Aluminum foil. My mother in-law will be giving rolls of aluminum foil to her neighbors! I find it really useful because I remember rushing to the market last Christmas because I ran out of supply. I just suggested that she can make a really nice packaging to the gift.

2. A Basket of Salted Eggs. With a really attractive packaging, I think salted eggs make perfect gifts because of its longer shelf life. You can make it as a hearty breakfast, a side dish or even as a salad.

3. Bottled foods. Jaq's Kitchen makes really yummy specialty sauces like tuyo with eggplant, spicy tahong with aligue, and spicken longaniza. A former colleague owns GUSTAZO that makes the yummiest Bagoong with Baboy and Bottled Tuyo in Corn Oil. Why not make your own if you happen to have a winning recipe of bottled foods like atchara and bagoong.

4. Natural Soaps. By Nature is one of the pioneers in the natural soaps business. Aside from soaps, they also have balms, insect repellants, and essential oils. I am a big fan of By Nature's oil-based insect repellant. For me, it worked wonders for my daughter because the effect takes a while to subside.

5. Herb pillows. These are compresses that you can either put in the refrigerator or warm in the microwave to treat common ailments such as body pains, tummy aches and bumps from minor accidents. They are usually available in bazaars. I got mine from Babibski Baby's sister company but I just can't find the herb pillows in their site. They will be at the MEGA TRADE HALL 2 & 3 at SM Mega Mall, on Dec. 16-22, 2009, Wed.-Tues. and at the NOEL BAZAAR, World Trade Center, Manila on Dec. 18-20, 2009, Fri.-Sun if you want to consider herb pillows as gifts.

We have 9 more days before Christmas so we still have time. My mom told me that Divisoria is so crowded even in the early morning, so good luck to those who will even attept to go there.

Happy shopping!

1st Birthday Poll: To Spend or Not To Spend

Several months ago, I started a poll to ask mothers how they spent or how they would like to spend their child's first birthday.

Around 59 moms answered and 54% of them decided to celebrate their child's first birthday with a grand party (magicians, lots of food and loot bags). The word "grand" would mean differently from one family to another, but for me this meant the parents saving up for the party several months ahead.

The other 39% preferred a simple party with relatives and close friends, and 5% opted to have a family vacation instead. These parents were those who might believe that a grand party will be too much for a young child who will not even remember the celebration at all when he grows up.

I just hope that the parents do not base their decisions for other people. The party is for the child and not for the guests. Just don't forget the pictures. A child's birthday party is still a KODAK moment-- whether grand or simple.

LADY GIGA

My very first bazaar experience was selling natural products by GIGA Ventures at our village bazaar around early 2008. I personally love GIGA because of their insect repellants and natural soaps. The bazaar was successful but I was not prepared to pursue a business back then.


Even if I no longer sell GIGA, I must say that I am still such a huge believer of their products. In fact, I gave as gifts this Christmas the GIGA Sports Bar for Men to some of my male colleagues. My ultimate favorites are their natural balms: NO ITCH and NO PAIN. These balms are made of virgin coco oil with essential oils.I use NO PAIN whenever I have a splitting headache, heartburn, and body pain. I tried it once for massage and it was truly soothing. My helpers and parents are also big fans. The smell is a subtler version of Whiteflower-- but who cares? "I smell gurang (old), but I feel bagets (young)."

My daughter is the primary user of NO ITCH for insect bites and other skin irritations. It really works in healing the inflammation without leaving black marks. We keep a big container in the house.

I no longer sell GIGA, but I just buy them in bazaars or in ECHO STORE and ECO MARKET. Call me Lady Giga. I will give you no poker face.

Photos taken from giga.com.ph.